As I have worked with moms of multiples to conquer the many challenges presented to them in their lives, there has been one underlying theme to every challenge. All us moms want to feel in control.
My work is dedicated to showing you how to control every situation that comes at you in life. Common situations could include another failed round of IFV, an emergency C-section, or two crying babies with no help around. Or possibly, two rambunctious toddlers who are not listening, your over helpful mother-in-law (or unhelpful, I’ve seen both), or a husband that isn’t as helpful around the house as you would like for him to be. All of these, and anything else that you can think of, often leave us feeling out of control, but I’m here to guide you to have the ability to be in control during all of these situations.
But to be in control, you have first to ask yourself why you want to be in control of these things. What would you get to feel if it worked out the...
It wasn’t long ago when I would look to other people to find things that I liked about myself. And this is completely understandable that we do this. As children we feed off of praise and rewards to help us have the courage to keep going, keep trying, keep growing in our childhood. In kindergarten we get stickers when we turn in homework. In 4th grade we get a movie pass when we reach our reading goal. In junior high we get to pick our favorite restaurant to go have dinner at when we bring home straight A’s. In high school we get a car when we perform well in school and with extracurricular activities. So it’s understandable how we have been programmed to look outside of ourselves for evidence that we can like ourselves.
But then motherhood comes along and for years we spend the majority of our time with little people whose job is not to validate us but to instead eat when they want, sleep when they want, cry when they are uncomfortable. From childhood external...
If there is one thing about motherhood that I believe down to my core it is that you are the perfect woman for the job. Your kids, your partner, and even yourself need you! Not me, not your sister, not your BFF, not your neighbor, and not the mom on IG that you love to follow. YOU mama, the world needs you.
Because here’s the deal, if we were all the same this life would be boring. We all have differences; likes and dislikes, strengths and weaknesses, skills and preferences to bring variety, creativity, and perspectives into the world so that the human species could evolve.
But being authentically you can be challenging so I want to help you lean into you doing you in your motherhood. So, I’ve got some tips for you.
Tip #1- Stop looking at what other moms are doing in their motherhood as the guidepost for your motherhood. During this time of quarantine, some moms are waking up early, getting in their at-home workout, and are showered and ready before the kids wake up....
There is a lot that goes into parenting and raising children. Add on top of that doing it with a set of multiples and the dynamics that comes with that, it’s no wonder that you feel lost, frustrated, or overwhelmed in your motherhood. The good news is each and every mom has been given an instruction manual for each one of her children. Yes, your multiples might have the same birthday and enjoy doing the same things but they definitely are not the same when it comes to discipline, connection, and learning how to navigate life.
When my twins were 4 years old they were playing in the big sandbox that Steve and I built for them. I was in the house, doing some cleaning and when I went out to check on them I found that they had gotten the hose and had flooded the sandbox with water. It was as if we were at the ocean, they and the sand were that wet. This was not the mess that I was wanting to clean up with them being in the sandbox, nor had they asked if they could get the hose out...
We’ve all heard them. The non-stop comments that come with having multiples. Everything from “poor boy has to be raised by all girls,” to the triplet mom. And “do twins run in the family?” “Were they natural?” “Two for the price of one.”
I’m going to piggy-back off of last week’s blog post where I talked about relationships. What they consist of and how it’s completely in your control to feel how you want about any person.
But what about the person that is in the elevator at work that says “wow, you’re having twins? You don’t look big enough to be having twins,” as you are 20 weeks along and not feeling small in the slightest. Or the person who says, “I know that it’s hard but do everything that you can to breastfeed. It’s what’s best for your baby,” as you are dealing with thrush and you and your preemies are struggling to nurse with each passing...
The information that I am about to share with you blew my mind when I first learned it from one of my coaches, Jody Moore. It went against everything that I had been taught as a child, youth, and adult. This concept has allowed me to increase compassion, joy, and love for everyone around me. So stay with me if it sounds kind of off, I’m going to guide you through it.
Every relationship that you have is a construct of how you think about that person. We always think that it’s how we act with one another, which is why we go around trying to get everyone to act how we think that they should act but our actions don’t determine the relationship, our thoughts do. This is why you can have a positive relationship with someone who has passed away or a child that isn’t born yet because their actions aren’t dictating the relationship, your thoughts are. It’s also why you can rewrite the past with the relationship that you have yourself or someone else. ...
Is self-care severing you in your motherhood? Do you know if your mindset around self-care serving you? Let’s do a little activity to help you see where you are at in your self-care mindset.
Honestly answer these questions as it applies to your motherhood and how you do self-care.
If you answered yes to the first three questions and no to the last one then I’d like to invite you to develop your mindset around self-care so that it will be a benefit in your motherhood instead of a nagging nuisance or something that you are feeling guilty about.
We are going to dive deep into these questions and many more at my MoMs Guide to Self-Care in Motherhood Workshop that is on this Thursday at 1 pm MST. If...
This month I have been focusing on helping you understand self-care. What it is, how it impacts your motherhood and how to make it into a practice that you don’t put on the back burner. I hope that you take these last few blog posts and all of the Instagram posts, and apply them into your life. (If you need guidance I’m teaching a workshop next week, click here to join, that will give you everything that you need to make self-care a top priority in your motherhood) But why? Why do we do self-care?
This is a question that each one of us individually needs to answer for ourselves. But I’d like to share the number one reason why I do self-care. I do self-care to grow and develop the relationship that I have with myself. As I developed that relationship, I increase the love the I have for myself. As a result, the love that I have for myself allows me to not delegate that responsibility onto others and I get to just love them as they are. Self-care creates space...
As MoMs, we show up. It's what we do. It's who we are.
We show up for routine doctor visits, non-stress tests, and weight checks.
We show up for nighttime feedings, diaper blowouts, and non-stop outfit changes.
We show up for food getting spit back out, sticky hands, daily baths.
We show up for Tupperware getting strewn about the kitchen, letter magnets on the floor, and every toy out of the bin.
We show up for park outings, playdates (playdates where the littles don't play together just beside each other), and trips to the zoo.
We show up for our husband, friends, and family members.
But frequently, we aren't showing up for ourselves. Today, I want to help you take back your power of the commitments that you make to yourself. Life doesn't just get in the way, we let that happen, and we need to take back the control.
When you plan to pause the hustle and bustle while your kiddos are taking a nap a read a book, but the sink is full of dishes and laundry still needs to be folded, you...
As moms, we can be physically in the room with our children but not mentally and emotionally “in the room” at the same time. Next week is Christmas, and I don’t want you to miss out on that precious time with your kiddos, so today, I am going to discuss three emotions that, when not understood, block us from being present in our life.
The first emotion is feeling valued as a mother. So many of us, I too am recovering from this, think that we have increased value when we are accomplishing tasks. Think of what Christmas morning typically includes; picking up the wrapping paper after the family has torn into the gifts that were under the tree, a hot breakfast on the table, quickly getting the dishes cleaned, and making the final preparations to visit family members for the rest of the day. All the while, your family is sitting on the family room floor, playing with their Christmas gifts, and enjoying the morning together.
Now, I’m not suggesting that doing those...
Motherhood is hard, but just surviving is optional. These 3 simple things will make motherhood with multiples way easier on yourself. We don't become mothers so that we can feel overwhelmed, stressed, and inadequate all of the time. Implement these 3 simple things and you will feel confident in your motherhood. You can lay your head down each night, feeling successful. Let me make motherhood easier on you, mama, so that you can THRIVE.