This past weekend, I was with a group of women. Together, we watched a short video depicting the day in the life of a mom. It started out showing us an early morning text conversation that she was having with her cousin, while kids swirled around her. The cousin would be flying into town with a long layover so they were making plans to meet up that evening. She then hustled and bustled about getting kids their breakfast, out the door to school and starting on the long list of things she’d wanted to accomplish that day.
On and on the video depicted this mother going throughout her day saying yes to everyone and everything around her, oftentimes putting off her own plans and needs. Sound familiar?
Do you feel that you were pre-programed to say yes to everything? Is it hard for you to say no because you want to feel helpful, kind and loving to the person asking you to do something for them? Here are a few of the things that this mom in the video said yes to.
Often, moms live their life, fighting fires. Like there’s a raging wildfire going on around them that needs immediate attention from every agency around. Ok, that might be a bit dramatic for a few situations but just hear me out on this analogy.
What could this look like in your life?
Possibly trying to fix the fact that you are tired all the time during your twin pregnancy. That if you worry enough then it will change what’s going on with you physically. Or maybe you’re overwhelmed with the thought of getting two health babies here and then the responsibility of taking care of them once they are here.
This doesn’t stop after the babies are here either. So often we think that if we got our twins to sleep through the night, eat solid foods earlier on in life, were able to understand their needs are so that they can stop crying more quickly, then everything would be better and the wildfire would be put out. Maybe for you it’s if your babies...
Infants quickly develop into children who then become of the age where they start to test their own identity, personalities, and limits. This usually starts around the age of two and our society has so kindly named this stage of life, the “terrible twos.”
Let me pause here for a minute. How is calling it the “terrible twos” helpful to anyone in this situation? Let me answer that for you, it’s not. When you call something terrible, guess what your experience of that something becomes? That’s right, terrible. It’s as if we need to be gearing up for something awful; when in reality we are just experiencing a change in our children. So, let’s start your child’s toddler stage out with just the facts, you have a two-year-old. And this stage is new territory for them as well, something that they are learning to navigate as well. I think that compassion, for both you and...
The first 8 years of Riley and Austin’s life, whenever they would fight, I would get so upset.
I would think thoughts like, “kids shouldn’t fight with their siblings.” Or “they aren’t going to have a good relationship with each other when they get older if they can’t get along.” And “I just want a peaceful home.”
I tried to control my children. I was the referee to many of their fights, trying to navigate who was right and who was wrong. They took many trips to time-out as punishment for fighting. They would yell and I would yell.
But then I became aware of why I didn’t want my children to fight. I wanted to feel like a good mother and that was way easier to do when there was no fighting and it was peaceful in our home.
However, I questioned if I needed my kids not to fight to feel like a good mother. I came to the conclusion that I’m a good mother regardless of if they fight or not. I then...
I was recently reminded that back in the day many moms participate in writing a blog with the host blogspot.com. This was a place to share what was going on in your world with other friends and family members.
So I went back and looked at my blog that I started when I found out that I was having twins. I came across the post that I created just after delivering my boys and the journey that we went on to get them here. The title of the post is "Nothing Ordinary" which is the perfect title because that's what my labor and delivery were, nothing ordinary.
I want to suggest that yes we can, and should, dream, plan and prepare during our lives. But when life throws you a curveball holding tight to the plan and dream that you've created in your life can cause you so much pain.
Releasing to what is actually happening in your life and allowing for change, is a skill that we need to develop to create our life instead of being at the effect of it. Yes, this can be very challenging to do. But...
Motherhood is hard, but just surviving is optional. These 3 simple things will make motherhood with multiples way easier on yourself. We don't become mothers so that we can feel overwhelmed, stressed, and inadequate all of the time. Implement these 3 simple things and you will feel confident in your motherhood. You can lay your head down each night, feeling successful. Let me make motherhood easier on you, mama, so that you can THRIVE.