December is a time when many reflect on their life, on loved ones that are close to them, and things that they can do to create some holiday joy. I love this time of year and the refocusing that society seems to do because of it.
This holiday I believe that there is one gift that will create more joy than any material thing that you get for yourself or give to others. That gift is unconditional love.
Unconditional love is a topic that I think that a lot of people believe that they have for themselves and those around them. But, after I explain what I believe it means and backing that up with the truth of “the model” from my life coaching work, I’d challenge you to dig deep and be honest with yourself if you’re genuinely experiencing unconditional love for yourself and others.
Or maybe you already believe that you do not have unconditional love for yourself, but you don’t know how to develop it. I’ll cover how to create unconditional love for...
The table is set with the linens just right and the centerpiece is congruent with the holiday feel. The mashed potatoes have been double whipped and lots of butter has been added to them to create magic in your mouth. The turkey is oven-roasted to perfection and ready to be carved. Stuffing, from scratch, because out of the box doesn’t cut it, has the room filled with the aroma of baked bread and butter circling the room. Oh, and the rolls. Don’t forget the amazing rolls that are fluffy and golden brown on the top ready for some butter, can you tell we like butter in our house, and homemade raspberry jam to complete the ensemble. These, coupled with all the other fix’ns, are ready precisely at 12 o’clock, which is the time that you have told all your guests that dinner will be served.
But then your brother calls and they are going to be 30 minutes late. After getting off the phone you realize that both the twins have just pooped through their diapers so...
Last year, at the beginning of November, my husband and I sat down to talk about our holiday season. We reminisced about what we wished we could do that year with our little family. But our conversation took a quick turn when we started thinking about the “obligations,” verbal and nonverbal, that we felt from those around us. The hustle and bustle to get “it” all done, to fit “it” all in, and the energy in the room deflated.
Luckily, we did not indulge in that non-helpful line of thinking very long. We gave ourselves permission to do the holidays however we wanted. We realized that it was a choice to feel obligated, or not. That we were making choices, intentionally or not, so we decided to live with intention during the holidays which brought a sense of excitement back into our conversation.
With a clean slate, knowing that we didn’t have to do ANYTHING for the holidays, we started filling up our party schedule, family outings...
Our lives are filled with them but most of the time we can’t distinguish between the two. Today I’m going to teach you the difference between a thought and a circumstance and how to use this knowledge in your life. Every situation in life, every story that you tell, has thoughts and circumstances but understanding the difference between the two is the difference between creating your life and living at the effect of it. This is a very important concept to understand because many times we, as moms, feel like life is happening to us. The best news that I can give you is that you can get back into the driver’s seat. You can be in charge of your motherhood with multiples.
So, what’s a circumstance? Circumstances are things in our life that are the facts. They are neutral, meaning they aren’t good or bad, therefore they don’t have any drama attached to them. Many times we don’t have any control over circumstances but sometimes we do.
“Mom guilt” is something that many moms experience, so if you do too, you’re not alone. Today, I’m going to give you everything that you need to know about “mom guilt” so that you can experience it in a way that serves you and your family instead of having it compound into shame, regret, and isolation.
What is “mom guilt”? It is a phrase that mothers have coined as a way to communicate that they are feeling guilty in their motherhood.
As I have taught you in past blog posts, all of our emotions come from the thoughts that we think. When we’re experiencing guilt, it’s because we are thinking sentences in our brain that send the guilt emotion into our body.
Intellectually, you might be starting to wrap your mind around the concept. Let’s dive a little deeper as to why we think those types of thoughts that are causing us to feel guilt. I’ve come up with several reasons.
1. You don’t go all-in on the...
This past weekend, I was with a group of women. Together, we watched a short video depicting the day in the life of a mom. It started out showing us an early morning text conversation that she was having with her cousin, while kids swirled around her. The cousin would be flying into town with a long layover so they were making plans to meet up that evening. She then hustled and bustled about getting kids their breakfast, out the door to school and starting on the long list of things she’d wanted to accomplish that day.
On and on the video depicted this mother going throughout her day saying yes to everyone and everything around her, oftentimes putting off her own plans and needs. Sound familiar?
Do you feel that you were pre-programed to say yes to everything? Is it hard for you to say no because you want to feel helpful, kind and loving to the person asking you to do something for them? Here are a few of the things that this mom in the video said yes to.
Looking back, on the first 10 years of our marriage, I’d have to say Steve and I did pretty dang good. I loved my husband, he loved me, and we built our life together in a way that we thought that we should.
It wasn’t until this life coaching work that I uncovered something that was creating distance in our marriage. A distance that I wasn’t aware of. Also, it’s something that you would think wouldn’t create distance, but it totally does. I discovered that: I needed my husband.
I needed him to come home from work “on time” so that I could feel some relief from my motherhood duties for a bit.
I needed him to climb the corporate ladder so that I could feel like he was successful and therefore I could be proud of him.
I needed him to stop telling “stupid jokes” so that I wouldn’t be embarrassed.
I needed him to put a little muscle on his body and loose a little flab so that I could feel attracted to his body.
Motherhood is hard, but just surviving is optional. These 3 simple things will make motherhood with multiples way easier on yourself. We don't become mothers so that we can feel overwhelmed, stressed, and inadequate all of the time. Implement these 3 simple things and you will feel confident in your motherhood. You can lay your head down each night, feeling successful. Let me make motherhood easier on you, mama, so that you can THRIVE.