There is a common misconception that many women believe. Today, I’m going to debunk this misconception and give you a different way to approach the situation.
Society thinks that if you want to change something in your life then you have to be upset, frustrated, or annoyed with yourself in order for you to be motivated to make the change. However, the opposite is true.
Let me explain. Let’s say that I have a counter in my kitchen that I want to declutter and it’s been needing my attention for three weeks. The natural tendency is to say to myself, “seriously? You can’t even keep the kitchen tidy? This is kind of pathetic that you’ve let this pile stay here for so long. I mean, it’s not really that hard to put a few papers away.” But when I talk to myself this way I feel discouraged. And when I feel discouraged I want to eat a treat, jump on social media or turn on Netflix. All of which are not going to get me to clean the counter....
I was recently asked how I responded when I was in the doctor’s office, and I was informed that I was carrying twins. To be completely honest. I cried. Uncontrollably. Tears of joy, overwhelm, gratitude, and uncertainty. And if you are reading this blog post, you might be able to relate.
Today, I’m going to talk about what I wish someone, anyone, would have taught me while I was pregnant with my multiples. Everyone talks about how to prepare physically for twins. What foods to eat, how to exercise, and to get as much sleep as possible now because you won’t get much once your babies are here. They talk about the baby gear and supplies to buy, what to buy two of, what are the must-haves versus the nice-to-haves, and what to take with you to the hospital. We talk a lot about how to physically care for the babies through breastfeeding and infant sleep classes.
But a HUGE piece of what we are missing when we are preparing for our babies to arrive is...
As I have worked with moms of multiples to conquer the many challenges presented to them in their lives, there has been one underlying theme to every challenge. All us moms want to feel in control.
My work is dedicated to showing you how to control every situation that comes at you in life. Common situations could include another failed round of IFV, an emergency C-section, or two crying babies with no help around. Or possibly, two rambunctious toddlers who are not listening, your over helpful mother-in-law (or unhelpful, I’ve seen both), or a husband that isn’t as helpful around the house as you would like for him to be. All of these, and anything else that you can think of, often leave us feeling out of control, but I’m here to guide you to have the ability to be in control during all of these situations.
But to be in control, you have first to ask yourself why you want to be in control of these things. What would you get to feel if it worked out the...
Let’s bust through all of the myths and misconceptions about anxiety so that you don’t have to keep letting it control your motherhood. Many of my clients, and MoMs that I talk to, experience anxiety in their motherhood. They feel that anxiety is just a given, that it just happens to them, and they can’t do anything about it. Are you feeling the same way? Well, stay with me because this post is going to change your life.
Anxiety is an emotion. All of our emotions come from the thoughts that we think. Let me pause right here; when I say that, I’m not telling you just to think happy thoughts all of the time. Being happy all of the time is not how life is to be lived. Nor is it possible because you have a human brain that wasn’t designed that way. But that’s a topic for a different post.
I am saying that our thoughts create our emotions and that it is okay to feel every emotion that comes up in our motherhood. I tell you that so you can take ownership...
Emotionally eating is a topic to which I am very passionate. I have been an emotional eater and done the work to overcome escaping my emotions through the foods that I was reaching for. At 10 am, I would eat if I was bored or stressed, to either way food was going in my mouth mid-morning. At 3 pm, I would eat because I would start to feel anxious about my kids coming home from school. At 7 pm, I would eat for entertainment and to escape thinking anything negative about what might have happened that day. Eating these snacks/treats was on top of three full meals each day. No wonder I was carrying around extra weight.
I have ridden the rollercoaster of diet and exercise. Exercising 4-5 days a week for an hour and a half at the gym and restricting foods so that the weight would come off. Diet and exercise worked temporarily, but it always ended up that I was back to the weight that I started at or higher.
Two main things changed so that I could finally crack the code to how I needed to...
I just got back from a beautiful vacation to the island of Curacao. To say that it was fantastic would be an understatement. The ocean air, warm sun, relaxed schedule was just what this mama needed.
While I was there my husband booked me a massage at the resorts spa. When I arrived at the appointed time, there was no one at the front desk so I passed the time looking at some of the items that they had for sale. Among the jewelry, hair care products, and nail polish there was a bracelet. It was simple in design but the word inscribed on it, powerful. “NO RAIN, NO FLOWERS”
I’ve thought about those words since that time in the spa. How true they are in life but especially in motherhood. If we don’t go through the “rain” of getting our children to us, either through pregnancy or adoption, we don’t get the “flowers” of having our children and being parents. If we don’t go through the “rain” of taking...
One of the keys to my success in being a mom is learning how to stay positive when life is happening.
This list can go on and on with examples of life swirling around me and I know that you have a long list as well.
But think back to a situation that was really challenging. Something that you have now gone through and come out on the other side. What good did worrying, stressing, and being fearful do during that situation? Your brain wants to trick you into thinking that when you worry, stress and be fearful it helps you get through those hard times but those negative emotions actually block us from finding a solution. It’s not until...
The holidays are full of magic. The anticipation of the beloved Christmas morning, with thoughtful gifts under the beautifully decorated tree. The sight of houses and trees lit up with lights throughout the community. Holiday music with messages of joy, peace, and excitement fills our homes. I could go on and on with examples of holiday magic. But you are experiencing all of them now, so why am I am relaying this?
Because I want to bring to your awareness that none of those things just happen. You have to be the one that gets the lights up on the house. You have to be the one that decorates the Christmas tree and hangs the stockings. You have to be the one that turns on David Archuleta’s holiday Pandora channel. Think of the other 11 months of the year. They are not nearly as magical, but they could be. Take some time over the next week to ask yourself how you can make the other 11 months just as magical as December. Now, I’m not talking about planning decorations to put...
As moms, we can be physically in the room with our children but not mentally and emotionally “in the room” at the same time. Next week is Christmas, and I don’t want you to miss out on that precious time with your kiddos, so today, I am going to discuss three emotions that, when not understood, block us from being present in our life.
The first emotion is feeling valued as a mother. So many of us, I too am recovering from this, think that we have increased value when we are accomplishing tasks. Think of what Christmas morning typically includes; picking up the wrapping paper after the family has torn into the gifts that were under the tree, a hot breakfast on the table, quickly getting the dishes cleaned, and making the final preparations to visit family members for the rest of the day. All the while, your family is sitting on the family room floor, playing with their Christmas gifts, and enjoying the morning together.
Now, I’m not suggesting that doing those...
Motherhood is not intended to be perfect, this is a beautiful thing. If motherhood were perfect, then we would miss out on so many growth opportunities for ourselves.
Like the opportunity to learn how not to be worried about the future, that may or may not come to fruition, during pregnancy with multiple babies.
Or the opportunity to learn how to tap into your motherhood intuition. Knowing without a doubt that you know what is best for your infants while they are in the NICU, and doctors are telling you otherwise.
For most of us moms of multiples, it’s an opportunity to learn how to feel physically exhausted while your babies are waking up three or four times in the middle of the night and not let that exhaustion debilitate you mentally and emotionally.
Maybe it is the opportunity to learn how to be patient, calm, and loving while your toddlers are simultaneously throwing tantrums.
Or the opportunity to learn that it is possible to love more than one baby equally, and no...
Motherhood is hard, but just surviving is optional. These 3 simple things will make motherhood with multiples way easier on yourself. We don't become mothers so that we can feel overwhelmed, stressed, and inadequate all of the time. Implement these 3 simple things and you will feel confident in your motherhood. You can lay your head down each night, feeling successful. Let me make motherhood easier on you, mama, so that you can THRIVE.